Monday, July 13, 2009

Adoption Anxiousness

This weekend, we've been hanging out with Chris's cousin and her family, which includes their 2 new sons whom they adopted from Ethiopia.  When we first met the boys, Chris and I both got emotional.  Just looking at them, I almost had to leave the room a couple of times because it was hard to hold back the tears.  It was a combination of things.  It was looking at these new members of our family and thinking, that's what my son's going to look like.  It was realizing as our cousin said, that it does happen...the process does finally come to an end and you do become parents. And it was seeing the beauty of adoption so up close and personal...that these two boys who our cousins had never met a month ago, are now completely and entirely their sons...forever.   Chris got teary-eyed when the boys' dad was telling us how he'll never forget a single moment of their first meeting.  
I think hanging out with this family has also eased some of my fears.  When you go through the adoption process, you attend trainings and are given reading materials that tell you all of the worst case scenarios involved in international adoption.  I believe in the value of this.  I've been reading books on attaching in adoption and raising black children in a race-conscious world because I believe if you just ignore these issues, you'll probably fail.  It's good to be aware and educated and prepared.  But something about seeing it happen this weekend, seeing these 2 boys so happy and so much a part of the family already, made all my fears ease just a little bit.  It was like realizing that it'll be okay because we'll just do it.  We'll make it work.  We'll deal with stuff as it comes and we'll put our child first with all that entails and we'll be okay.  We'll be a family.

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