Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Moment I Knew

Just reminiscing this National Adoption Month.

When you adopt internationally, you receive what is called a "referral".  For us it came in the form of an email with a couple pictures and a little info about the baby chosen for us.  When Chris and I opened that email on his iphone and looked at this picture, I felt I would do anything for that little baby.  I guess that was the moment I knew he was mine and I was his.

I've read and heard people say that sometimes it can take a while to feel it's your child.  There is even something called post-placement depression, like postpartum depression.  There can be many reasons for this.  Particularly with international adoption, children often come to families with health issues, dressed in old stinky clothes for the wrong gender, etc.  It may sound shallow and stupid, but this can affect your immediate feelings of joy, connection, giddiness.  This is not a "gerber baby" situation like we often dream about.

It must be so difficult to not feel that love and connection immediately.  But I share this because I know it is normal and if you feel that, it's okay...it will pass.

I am grateful that I felt so connected to Ephraim from a simple picture.  It probably didn't hurt that he is so pickin cute!  I hope I feel that way with every child.  But even if I don't, I know it will come eventually.

When did you know it was your child?  When did you feel that connection?  If you want to share your story, leave a link in your comment.  I'd love to read it.

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