Saturday, February 18, 2012

High Structure


E is not doing well right now.  He's kind of a mess, to be honest.  The last couple of days he's been full of fear, anxiety, sensitivity, tiredness, and clingy-ness. There are way too many tears, way too much whining, and not enough sleep.

It's probably the usual culprits.  Our schedule has been thrown off, we've been busier than usual, routine has gone out the window a little, we've used babysitters too much.  We got cocky, I guess.  We thought our kids were doing so well that we allowed ourselves to relax a little and let go of some routine and structure.  I'm reminded of Deborah Gray's constant reminders in Attaching in Adoption that our kids need "high structure and high nurture."  They just do.  No matter how well we think they're doing, they need those two things.

So we back out of our Bible study tomorrow night and we decide to become a little more housebound for a while.  We want that freedom to not have our kids completely dictate our every move, you know?  We want to be able to go to an all day conference and leave the boys with a grandparent, to go to birthday parties, to put them in the church nursery so I can hear Chris preach.  I know to some extent, we can't allow our kids to completely dictate our lives and make us miss out on the time we need with family, friends, getaways.  Yet, raising kids is about sacrificial love, isn't it?  It's about putting ourselves aside to some extent because Christ put himself aside for us.

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