Thursday, July 12, 2012
"Do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath." Psalm 38.1
This verse has been affecting the way we discipline our kids lately. See, we have a 2-year-old and a 3-year-old and they know how to PUSH OUR BUTTONS! I honestly believe that sometimes J-Man looks for a fight. I think sometimes he wants the anger to surge and the battle to ensue.
And sometimes, I have let him push me to the point that I escalate and he escalates and I escalate and he escalates and it's a big ugly mess. I have disciplined in anger.
The Psalmist begs the Lord NOT to discipline him in His anger because he knows he cannot stand under that.
Sometimes it is so hard to be the "adult," isn't it? I have to be the one who stops the escalation, who stops the tempers flaring, and who brings everyone back to a state of calm, including myself. And that is hard to do.
So I have been realizing that time outs are as much for me as they are for my boys. It's a few minutes for ME to step away, do some deep breathing, calm down so that I am ready to discipline in a healthy and effective way, not in anger. I have been getting much better at just calmly placing J-Man in a time out, then walking away to my own room and calming myself down while he calms himself down. Then we reconvene and discuss the issues.
I'm still working on it, but it's getting better.
What tips do you have for making sure you don't discipline your kids in anger?