Saturday, August 18, 2012
Moving According to E
Next week, we will be listing our house for sale, Lord willing. We finally got there. It's been a road of paint touch ups, yard fixes, deep cleaning, you know the drill.
Along the way, E notices every single change to our house. He's a very observant child and as soon as he enters a room, he questions me on why there are less books on the shelves (I packed some), why the pictures aren't on that wall anymore (staging, ya'll!), why has that thing been moved and why is that thing gone. I try to keep my answers light for him and mutter something about making the house cleaner or making it look nicer.
But it bothers him. It's building and building in him and it pours out in out-of-the-blue tantrums that escalate to places they usually don't.
So I decided I better be honest with him, especially as things are about to get a lot weirder once we list the house; what with random strangers coming for viewings and what not. Yesterday, I laid it all out on the table for him. I talked about moving to a new house and I tried to throw in words like "adventure" and "exciting." He was very concerned about leaving our stuff in this house. "No, we'll take everything with us. Yes, all of your toys. Yes, your sheets. Yes, your bed. Yes, that bookshelf over there."
And because I know a little about grief and loss in adoption, I went on and on about ALL four of us moving TOGETHER to the new house, and how we'd bring Lloyd the dog with us, and how we're a family and what that means, etc.
I know he thinks about it often because he randomly brings it up and asks more about what we will and won't take with us. And yesterday he told me he wants to stay in his "own" house (our current house) because it's comfortable. He told me he'll miss this house. Breaks my heart a little bit.
I worry about him with this move because I know the last time he moved, he lost everything.
And I know that affects him.
So I'm struggling for ways to reassure him and remind him that we will always be a family. Even if we're in a different home.