Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Too Tired To Be Nice
It hit me today. I'm too tired and overwhelmed to even be nice right now. I'm normally a very nice person. I like to smile at strangers. I'm very courteous and I thank people a lot. But lately? "I am on the edge of the edge," to quote the movie Envy. When I interact with people, there's just nothing left of me to put in the energy required to come across as nice.
Want to hang out? Ha! I'm sure I sound like a particularly unpleasant person right now and it's not quite as bad as I make it sound, but just about.
See, we moved last Thursday. Moving with children is never fun, I'm sure. But E adds a particularly difficult dynamic to the whole thing. He's moved into the anger stage now. All day today he tells me, "I'm angry." "I'm angry because I want our old house." "I'm angry at you."
He doesn't handle change well. It scares him. It makes him anxious. And it sends him into hypersensitivity mode where he points out every speck of dust in the entire apartment, demanding to know what it is and why it's there. EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT and he does not like it.
So between dealing with that, trying to unpack and make our place feel a little more homey, getting used to using a laundry room again, getting used to not having a backyard, and everything else that we normally do in life such as jobs, I am exhausted and overwhelmed.
That's all I really have to say right now, folks. I know it will get better. I know my son will eventually stop being mad at me. I know we'll all eventually settle in to this new home. But today is probably not the day I'm going to make a new best friend!