Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I am okay.
Have I been sounding depressed on here lately? I realize my post Getting Through had a sort of depressed tilt to it. My mother-in-law read it and began to ask repeatedly if I was okay. So we had a little chat about momhood and the things we go through. I really appreciated it because it sort of took the power out of my emotions, you know? It helped me to know what I've been feeling lately is common among moms and dads, too, of course.
We all go through times when we feel down and when we just aren't enjoying our children or our day-to-day. My mom-in-law told me she used to call her mom when she felt that way and her mom would tell her to go ahead and cry and it's okay to feel that way, but then get up and get over it, so to speak. Move on.
Know that it's normal. Because when we start to feel down and when we aren't enjoying this mom thing, we can begin to believe that it's just me. I'm a bad mom. Maybe I shouldn't have had kids so early. Maybe....fill in the blanks. We begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities to do this whole parenthood thing. We think there's something wrong with us and that worries us. So it has been tremendously helpful for me to just realize my feelings are normal. I'm not a bad parent. It's not that I'm not cut out for this. I CAN do this. These feelings are a normal part of parenthood and that's ok.
BUT we also can't just sit there and continue to feel that way. We have to feel it and then try to shake it. Choose joy. I've been finding such inspiration in this blog lately. She calls it "Finding Joy" and I think that's the simple key of it all, my friends. FIND that joy. It might not smack you in the face every morning when a baby crying jolts you awake (too early!). You have to find it. Some days you have to go searching for that joy. But it is there and you can find it.
So...I am okay, people. I am pulling myself out of "just get through it" mode and trying to find joy. By the way, thanks again, mom-in-law, for the talk!
Have you parents been there? What helps you pull yourself up when you start feeling down and overwhelmed?