Monday, March 18, 2013
We try really hard to protect our children's stories. We try to respect the fact that they are THEIR stories and when they are older, they should be able to decide what they share with whom. I'm not talking about the fact that they were adopted or where they were born, but the bigger stuff. The crap they've had to go through. The specifics to the trauma they've survived. We try to protect that and to guard it. We try to anticipate the day our 12-year-olds ask us how well their privacy was protected.
Yet, we have been realizing lately that we are carrying around the huge burdens of these stories, they are affecting our lives and our home every single day, and it's just too much for us to carry completely on our own. We have to share the burden.
So we've been letting a select few more people in. We've started seeing a therapist and we share stories there. We have told some details to our small group from church. These are people we meet with weekly to pray for each other. It's a safe space, they know we are sharing private information that needs to be kept in our circle, and it's a group of people who regularly pray for us and our family as we carry these burdens. We've been telling our families a little more about what we are going through right now with J-Man so they can pray for us and support us in it.
It's a hard line to walk, I feel. We've realized we can't walk this road alone, we have to let people in, at lease a little bit, because we need support, prayer, help, to be understood. But we also realize the importance of protecting our children and letting them decide what they want to be known by whom.
Do you find it hard to walk that line? How do you navigate this issue. I'd love to hear thoughts.