Thursday, May 9, 2013
I need to praise and compliment my children more. Any of you in the same boat?
J-Man had a therapy appointment on Tuesday and we are in the middle of EMDR with him. Basically, we tell him his story again and again to help him process it and move through it. So yesterday, he would randomly reference some trauma from his past. He would tell me what his birthdad did and said and then add, "That was his fault." When we tell him his story in EMDR, we don't talk about anything that his birthdad said because we don't know what he said. So that part is either in J-Man's memory or he's just making it up, but either way, it's significant to what he's processing right now.
Yesterday, he was telling me mean words his birthdad said and insults he hurled at baby J-Man. And I realized, those are the words that are playing in my son's mind and that are impacting his self image.
So Chris and I have an important job here. We need to replace those words with positive, loving, esteeming phrases. And I don't do this enough for my kids. Especially, at age 3, I find most of my words to be corrective rather than complimentary.
I want to make more of a focused effort to tell my children how wonderful they are, to point out their strengths and abilities, to shower them with loving words.
Join me in that challenge!