Monday, June 3, 2013
At the beginning of 2013, Chris and talked about how nice it would be to take this year and just rest a little. We've had some pretty crazy years lately with moves, job changes, adoptions. We settled into our apartment at the end of 2012, our businesses were more or less up and running, and we had no plans of adding another child to our party any time soon. (No, this is not a "we're adopting again!" announcement so stop that thought right there!)
We felt like we needed a year to just be. To not make huge life changes.
And then J-Man hit a new developmental stage and stuff hit the fan, if you know what I mean. It got really ugly in this little apartment. Over the last several months, we've been getting some help, doing some therapy, reading more on trauma and adoptive parenting, taking care of ourselves, attending support groups, etc. to get our family back to a place of health. And the progress has been incredible!
So now we're halfway through 2013 and we realize the first half was pretty much engulfed in heading toward crisis with J-Man in a place of intense anger and fear, and then putting in all the work that has been required to avoid said crisis and bring healing to our son and our relationship with him.
Thank God we hadn't planned on any huge life changes because God obviously knew we'd have enough on our plates for the first half of the year!
But now we look toward the rest of 2013 and we want to rest. We need to rest. Yet we have all these dreams, too. We want to adopt again eventually, we want to go on an adventure some place new, Chris wants to get back into fulltime ministry eventually. All these things take time and planning, but I don't know if we have it in us right now.
Have you ever been there? Time just gets to you, doesn't it? It's always ticking away and years are always finishing up and there's just so much you want to do. But sometimes you just need a breath, a season of stillness. I, for one, find it hard to take that season and trust I'll still have time to do all the things I want to do.
So right now I just don't know. I don't know what we're going to do with our lives or where we'll live or when we'll go or who will join our family. If God says go, we want to go, no matter how worn out we are. I guess we just need to pray!