This evening I'm listening to "Home" by Phillip Phillips. The part that always gets me is this:
"Settle down, it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. The trouble it might drag you down. If you get lost, you can always be found. Just know you're not alone."
There's something about that that just resonates with my soul. Sometimes I start to pay attention to those demons. But all they do is fill me with fear. I have to settle down, trust God, rely on Him. And know that He will always find me, that I am not alone.
Tonight, I was realizing that J-Man will be 4 in just a few months. When E was 3 and J-Man was 2, I longed for this coming November! The terrible 2's were truly terrible in our house. The trying 3's may have been even worse. And we had two children in those phases at the same time. During the really difficult times, I thought, 'If we can just make it till nobody is in the 2's and nobody is in the 3's, it's got to get easier, right?' And tonight, I realized we're almost there. The past few weeks have been particularly challenging with J-Man (I have the bruise on my leg to prove it! It's from the time he chucked a toy turtle at me!). But light is breaking through once again. Darkness is falling off.
We have to have a lot of hope to be adoptive parents, I think. We can't afford to pay attention to those demons, to focus on the fear or the negativity. We have to hold on to that hope like it's all we've got.
We can always be found. And so can our kids. Praise God. We are more than conquerors.