Friday, January 24, 2014

When Stories Differ



My two children come from such completely different situations.  Our international adoption provided very very little backstory and information for our son (as is most often the case).  Foster care adoption is so different because you are usually given pretty much everything that can be known by a paper trail. 

I find this disparity difficult to navigate.  When the questions start popping up, I have expansive answers for one son and only guesses and maybe's for the other.  It feels unfair.  Sad.  I worry that it will get harder for my kids as they get older.  There are such differences in what can be known and what is left unknown for each of them.  I suppose it's the same if you have a biological child and an adopted child.  You know everything about your biological child's life and can't possibly about your adopted child's life before you.

I would love to hear suggestions or stories from anyone who has navigated this before.  It just seems difficult and I wonder if there are better ways to navigate it.  Thoughts?

1 comment:

Leslie said...

We just adopted our son a few weeks ago through foster care, (he's two and we've had him since about birth). We know most of his story and have a relationship with some of his bio family. On the other hand, I no nothing about my son's history from the DRC. My boys are 8 months apart and still two and under, so I'm not dealing many questions...yet. But, I think about this a lot too!!! Don't have any answers, just wanted to say I think about the same things!

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