You can do anything.
But you can't do everything.
I read this the other day and it resonated with me. This season of raising little children is ALL-CONSUMING, people. It's hard. It's a lot of work. And we're thinking it's time we accept that that's okay. It feels like we keep trying to fight and deny that fact. We think we can do everything we're supposed to do in our lives, all in the same season. And I just don't think that's it. I think we're in this season of raising small people and we can just focus on that for a while. Now, our family should be on mission, of course, but I don't have to be an actor right now and Chris doesn't have to be a working pastor right now. Those things can come back into our lives later.
We've been leading this little home church for over a year now and it's been exactly what I think we were supposed to be doing. But now it's not. And that's okay.
The Lord used it and it was a beautiful thing. We're very grateful we got to be a part of how God moved in our friends' lives and in our own. But now it's time to stop meeting on Thursday evenings. And when my husband and I started realizing it was time for this home church venture to end, I heard familiar little voices start to pop up in my mind.
But we committed to this. We can't just end it.
What will people think? Will they think we failed?
But then I realized... who cares?! Right?! I mean, if the Lord tells you to do something or to stop doing something, you do it. Following Jesus requires "a touch of folly" as Brennan Manning called it. He also said, "In the final analysis, discipleship is a life of sublime madness." It requires looking silly and foolish. Because God's ways are not ours. His thoughts are not ours.
We live in this culture that tells us we have to pick one thing we're going to do for the rest of our lives and we have to stick with it, move up the ladder, get the promotions, and retire at a reasonable age to drive around in a motor home for a while. I'm not trying to bash any of that, I'm just saying these are the pressures we feel, right? These seem to be the things that are expected of us. Otherwise we're flaky. Or we lack direction. Or our lives just don't really make sense.
But what if they're not supposed to make sense? Really, I think the Bible is very clear that they're not. Not to us and our world, anyway.
In our family, so far, the Holy Spirit has truly moved like the wind, pushing us this way and then that, and then that, and then that. He seems to sort of change course pretty regularly. And I often worry that that looks foolish to the world.
But I pray that I do it anyway and that my life will indeed look like one of sublime madness by the time it's over.