Thursday, August 20, 2015

On Hold

Three months ago we decided to put our next adoption on hold.

I haven't told you all because I honestly didn't really want to talk about it.  It sucked.  It was a really hard decision.

We started the process of potentially fostering to adopt an infant, thinking it would take 6 months to a year to get matched with a baby.  But the week our homestudy was finished, we got a call about a possible placement.  We said yes to it and waited to hear whether or not we'd be driving to the NICU to pick up our new baby.  That happened to be the week the stuff hit the fan in our house, so to speak.  Regression splattered everywhere for one of our kids.  Things were hard, chaotic, and stressful. 

We ended up not being chosen for placement of that baby.  And so then we had a really raw, honest, tear-ful conversation about timing and our family.  We realized we needed to make more progress with the earlier mentioned child before bringing another baby into our home. 

And so that's what this summer has been for us.  A major time of growth for our son.  He has made incredible progress.  We have learned so much more about parenting him and what he needs.  We have made major changes to our strategies and game plan with him and it has shown fruitful.  The Lord has been working in our home and revealing things to us that needed attention. 

Things are getting better.  Much better.

We all know parenting kids from hard places is a 4 steps forward, 3 steps back kind of journey.  And so hard days still come.  But they aren't as hard and they don't last as long and I know how to handle them now. 

I'll tell you, it seems like every time I think I have figured out how to parent kids from hard places, or that I finally learned the missing piece, I realize I still have so much to learn.  Thank God for His grace, forgiveness, and faithfulness!

So our next adoption is still on hold.  We originally started the process, thinking fall would be the time we'd actually be bringing home baby #3 and it still might be.  Or it might not be.  I don't know the future.  For now, we continue to work and wait. 

At church last Sunday, we heard a sermon on Joshua about when the Israelites were finally getting ready to enter the Promised Land.  God again parted the waters for them to walk across, but when "the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing.  It piled up in a heap a great distance away, at a town called Adam." (Joshua 3.15-16)  I didn't realize how far away that town called Adam was.  Apparently it would have taken hours for the water level where the priests were standing to inch down before all the people could walk across on dry land.  God didn't instantaneously dry up the water this time.  He slowly, slowly lowered it.

I feel like that's where we are standing right now.  We're in the water, waiting to cross and we can see the water inching down, but it's taking time.  And so our job is to rest and wait for it to go all the way down, knowing God has already put in motion the day we will be able to walk across on dry land. 

I love that!

But it's hard to wait.  Thanks for sticking with me as it's been a slow blogging summer for me!

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